10/15/00 Title: Beloved Protector Author: ML Email: msnsc21@aol.com Distribution: Sure, just please let me know first. Spoilers: through US Season 7 Rating: all ages Classification: V Keywords: Mulder/Scully romance Summary: What's in a name? Disclaimer: The characters used in this story are the property of Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen, FOX, etc. I mean no infringement by borrowing them, and I'm not making any money from this, just having some fun. Author's notes: This is part of the "Another Gray Morning" series. You don't have to read the other stories to get this, but I hope you do anyway! Additional disclaimer: I chose the baby's names for their meaning, and no other reason. Really. Go to Babynames.com and see for yourself! Beloved Protector by ML They are having a rare moment of quiet. Skinner dropped them off and declined to come in, Scully's mom has gone home again, and wonder of wonders, the baby is asleep. Mulder fiddles around in the kitchen, making tea. Scully is in the living room, looking at the day's mail. It's all so strange, yet somehow so...right. He can't think of a better word right now. Domesticity was never something he'd craved, at least not since he reached adulthood, but he's finding it soothing. Granted, it's only been a few days since he's returned from wherever he was, but for now it's nice. He and Scully are feeling their way, slowly but surely, back into a sort of partnership. Their initial reunion had been all about feeling and emotion, but by the next day, both were back in an assessing mode. They both stood back a little, taking a long hard look at each other, figuring out what to do next, taking refuge in their respective personae. He can't seem to stop cracking dumb jokes, and Scully, when not in mother-mode, is back to being her enigmatic self, and hell-bent on getting some answers. She has a right to some answers; she's the one who got left behind while Mulder got his all-expense-paid trip to Reticulan. Or wherever. He's still having trouble wrapping his mind around the idea of so much missing time. It's a phrase he'd thrown around almost casually ever since discovering the X-Files, but he feels differently about it now that he's experienced it. Almost a whole year gone, justlikethat. One minute he's sticking his hand where he shouldn't, the next minute Skinner finds him spitting leaves and mud, and tells him he's been gone for *ten months.* It's one thing to investigate an X-File. It's quite another to *be* an X-File. He's not sure he likes it. He takes the tea into the living room, clutching the mug handles in one large hand while he grasps the honey bottle and spoons in the other. Scully is sitting on the couch, intent on a small paperback book. "What's that you got there, Scully?" he asks, setting the hot mugs down carefully and shaking his hand to cool his fingers off. "It's a book, Mulder. You could have used a tray, you know," she says, without looking up from the page she's scanning. "I know, I know, but we manly men don't like to mess with all that fussy stuff," he says, and sits beside her, looking over her shoulder. It's lists of names with short definitions after them. He flips the cover up. "1,001 Baby Names," he reads. "Need some ideas, Scully?" She looks up at him. "Mom left this. I think it's a hint. He's almost two months old, Mulder. Don't you think he should have a name by now?" "How `bout we just call him Baby until he's old enough to object, then Kid until he's old enough to be called Mr. Mulder." Scully doesn't say anything, but her eyebrow raises. "Mr. Scully?" He smiles winningly. "Mulder." She doesn't have to say anything more. He knows that look and that tone. He takes the book out of her hand. "You could've named him if you wanted, Scully. I mean, it's nice that you waited, but I'm pretty sure I would have forgiven you, as long as you hadn't named him Fox Mulder, Junior." "Well, what's your choice, Mulder? What name would you give him?" She looks at him with that same expression, which tells him he won't get out of this any longer. He'd started this himself earlier today, so he has only himself to blame. He'd been trying to tease Scully out of a somber mood after Skinner had been here, spreading his own brand of dour charm. Scully recognized it for the ruse it was, and refused to be drawn into his game at the time. "As long as it's not Fox, I'm not picky," he says now. "What do *you* want to name him, Scully?" She says matter-of-factly, "I thought William would be nice." William. His father's name. He rolled it over in his mind. Does he like the idea of his son named after his own father? The man who allowed his sister to be abducted, who'd lied to him most of his life, who may or may not have been one of the authors of the invasion he fears may now be imminent? He shakes his head to himself. "Mulder, what? Don't you like that idea?" She is plainly puzzled by his hesitation. "It seems an unfair burden to lay on a kid, to name him after someone like my dad," he says. "I don't want him named after my father." He can see the hurt in her eyes, and realizes even before she speaks that he's made a mistake. "It's my father's name, too," she reminds him softly. Then she adds, "and it's your middle name." He makes a little grimace. "I know, I'm sorry, Scully. I just know sometimes a name can be a burden." "I guess you would know," she says, and touches his hand in understanding. "But you said your father tried to atone, in the end." He sighs. "Yeah, I know. Let's just not make it his first name, okay?" Scully nods. "I can accept that," she says. "But now it's your turn. You have to come up with an acceptable first name." He starts to say something, to protest that he doesn't want that job alone, when she gets this listening look in her eyes. "It's the baby," she says, shifting gears into mother mode. "It's time to feed him." She squeezes Mulder's hand and leaves him alone with the one thousand and one baby names. It seems an impossible task. He's already rejected the traditional means of naming, but doesn't really have an alternative that either of them would find acceptable. He knows from his own personal experience that an unusual name can be a curse. Giving a child a name to live up to, or one with unpleasant associations, is just as bad by his reckoning. He turns the book over in his hands. He starts to leaf through the pages methodically. Aaron. Abbott . Abe, `father of a multitude' . Abel. Nope. He skips to the Bs. Baba, `born on Thursday.' Or Baby, means `baby.' . Bahari, `Sea Man.' It's hard, just as hard as he thought it would be. Sometimes a name interests him, but its meaning puts him off. He wants to find a name that has some meaning, but that will not place an undue burden of expectation, or cause ridicule. , he thinks. Then we'd just be arguing over which name was first, Samantha or Melissa>. He looks up their names. Melissa, a honeybee. Samantha, the listener. This gives him pause for a moment. His memory plays back Samantha, her eyes wide and dark, listening to their parents argue from the top of the stairs. He shakes his head to rid himself of the unwelcome picture. He looks up Dana and Katherine. Katherine, pure and virginal. Dana, mother of gods . Dana Katherine, the pure and virginal mother of gods. He likes the sound of that, but doubts that Scully would. He looks up Fox. A fox, is all the book lists.